The famous Forest ‘sick’ kit. I bloody hated this at the time. We first wore it back in 1995. It coincided with my move to S Ldn, and finding it increasingly difficult to stay in touch with all things Forest from afar, pre-proper the modern interweb age. The crappy kit seemed to summarise my own levels of a lack of interest. It’s now become something of a Forest icon. It was even exhibited at The Design Museum at the recent Designing the Beautiful Game retrospective. I’m warming to it, in irony, if nothing else.

Oh woe is a Head Football Coach. Oh especially WOE is a Head Football Coach who has just overseen a stunning away performance in Europe for his first game, and then comes crashing down back at home with the visit of the PL title holders.

Liverpool should hold no fear for Forest. We’ve turned them over, home and away, in recent seasons. In your head, in your HEAD, Arnie, Arnie, etc. Vitor Pereira had the simple task of repeating whatever is was that Forest managed to pull off away in Istanbul, and bring it back to the World Famous City Ground.

Picking an unchanged team was a half decent start. This was not as straight forward as it sounds. We’ve seen how Ange the Clown and Dyche both struggled back in the PL after a European hangover. But how could you change a team that was so dominant on their midweek European jollies?

The 2pm sunshine KO on the banks of the Trent seemed familiar. Forest, Liverpool, Super Sunday. If you squinted you could almost see Ready Steady Teddy scoring the first live televised goal in the PL into what was then the building site of the Trent End.

We were dominant for the first thirty minutes or so. Forest needed to make this pressure count. Liverpool were unlikely to be so forgiving come the second half.

Sangare was a MONSTER once again - and a very tricky one at that. He almost plays the game at slower pace than everyone else. Yet somehow he still manages to find the time in the middle to control the ball, slowly turn around and find a killer pass.

MGW meanwhile was running the show. He looks slimmed down - not that he was exactly bulky at any time over the past few seasons. His slender frame allows him to cut through the middle and dictate the play.

Waiting on the end of many of these early MGW passes was Hutchinson, a player that is growing in confidence with every new manager. What a ridiculous thing to say for the club’s record signing.

On the other side of the pitch and you get the impression that Neco rather enjoys stitching up Mo Salah each time they are paired together. Neco will miss him when he’s gone.

Frustratingly Forest couldn’t find a breakthrough in what was an impressive first half for the home team. The second half was all about:

DEFEND! DEFEND!

DEFEND!

DEFEND!

DEFEND!

Oh bloody hell.

On came the bench boys, making way for some very tired European legs. This was always going to weaken Forest. £200m may have been spent over the summer to give us strength in depth, but I can’t see that we’ve moved on since the days of Silva and Sosa.

The final few minutes were heartbreaking to watch. FUCK ME, VAR. You make us fall in love with you in one moment, and then the very next, you’re shitting on us live on the telly.

And so the season now becomes all about out-shooting Nuno and West Ham. Whatever you can do, we can do better, etc. We NEED these Super Sunday afternoons down at the World Famous. I couldn’t handle a return to Millwall away, midweek.

Writing a Crap Match Report when Forest are crap is easy. The words take care of themselves. Writing a Crap Match Report when Forest are fantastic requires a little more thought. Why did that just happen? What was the tactical set up? How did the fourth Head Coach of the season manage to put in place such a change in fortunes, one week after the Wolves downer that led to Dyche’s sacking?

I can’t answer any of the above. I can only write about what I saw on Thursday evening whilst watching on the telly. SHOUT OUT to the 1,200 Forest fans that managed to make the military like trip over into Asia for a European fixture. I very rarely leave the village these days. I admit to a momentary feeling of jealousy watching the social clips of those taking on the great adventure. We use to get excited ahead of a Highfield Road away day.

The European suits were back once again ahead of KO. These are very ill-fitting. They first made an appearance midway into the European adventure away at Braga. I’m not sure why they weren’t worn in Seville back in September. Maybe it was the weather?

I’ll happily take seeing the 15 stone or so of Murillo squeezed into a poorly tailored suit, if it means that he is in the starting line up ahead of Morato. Yes, he looked a little bulky. And yes, I didn’t see any sign of the ‘injury’ that kept him away from the final dark days of the Dyche regime. Fancy that.

The suits were soon stripped off, and Forest were Welcomed to Hell wearing all red - which felt appropriate. I always bloody love it when we are kitted out in Garibaldi red from top to bottom. Now then: how to go about silencing the Fenerbahçe partisan crowd, not to mention the bloody annoying PA system?

Playing an amazing opening spell of the game might help. A couple of first half goals would almost certainly give the Forest away support at least the chance of being heard. Cometh the hour, cometh the BULK of Murillo to walk through the midfield and guide his shot home, almost Collymore style. We all knew this was coming at some stage. It had a slight feel of Des at home to Luton back in the day.

It wasn’t all Nu Forest. There was still some confusion from set pieces. The sight of MGW looking frantically at the subs to receive a message about what the chuff to do was a little worrying. The on field argument with CHO about what was about to happen wasn’t a good look. I can help you out here: our set pieces are going nowhere and near some urgent work, as they have done all season.

Elsewhere and I wouldn’t tinker too much with whatever training ground time is available between now and Sunday ahead of Liverpool t the World Famous. Having had their footballing brains coached out of them with three different messages so far this season, the instructions from Pereira seemed to be just go out and bloody enjoy yourselves.

The Fenerbahçe penalty claim looked decent to me. Some you win, them’s the breaks, etc. It would have been a turning point in the match - and indeed the two-legged tie. The perfect response from Forest was to go the other end and score… from a set piece. Scrub what I said earlier. That was no easy header from Jesus. The ball was rising. He had to rise even higher just to control it and direct it down. BACK OF THE NET.

I was happy at 2-0. Time to shut up shop. But Forest weren’t happy. They continued to press on the break. How brilliant was Sangare? He looks so immobile, but then has the skills to turn on the spot and blind side two opposition players. He’s the enforcer that Forest have missed for many years now. His pace may let him down in the PL, but he is perfect for these European away days.

The MGW third goal finally silenced the Fenerbahçe ultras. It’s all gone quiet over there, etc. Watching MGW score an away European goal for Forest in February is something that seemed highly unlikely last summer when #lolspurs were circling.

The post-match presser from Pereira was very classy. There was no finger pointing at the part-time players on the bench. He made a point of giving a hug to Bakwa at FT, no doubt with the message that your time will come. He spoke of how the win was down to the players, and not him. He’s not had time to coach them yet. The more Dyche coached them, the worse they got. Let’s hope that Pereira continues with a Laissez Faire approach.

In summary: OUTSTANDING. This team surely can’t get relegated? Good luck in selling out the WFCG for the return leg dead rubber.

Another day, another MUST WIN game for Forest down at the World Famous. With Wolves threatening to ‘beat’ D***y’s record as the worst PL team EVER, you can soon see how such hyperbole comes into play. Yes, the PL is bat shit crazy. Win, headlines, repeat. It’s a vicious treadmill, but not one that makes me romantic about a return to the Championship and away days at Fratton Park.

Harry Hodge on BBC Radio Nottingham already had us booking return train tickets to Portsmouth for next season. I was surprised at the level of his DOOM with the pre-match build up. Sir Colin of West Bridgford also came across as the most deflated I have heard him since the dark days of Houghton. I knew things looked bleak, but in the back of my mind, I never really thought that we are in serious danger of relegation. WISE UP, SUCKER.

The team news didn’t exactly extend my optimism. Morato. Oh. But to be fair, he somehow got through the game without the usual one kick away from a major mistake approach that has characterised his season so far. Morato may do a reasonable job of being a back four clogger, but the absence of Murillo always highlights how much we miss him.

I’ve no bad feelings towards Wolves, apart from the MGW nasty jibes from their away fans in recent years. As a club they have a proud - albeit limited - history. Midlanders need to stick together. I didn’t have much time for the pigeon shit style away kit. I couldn’t get Liverpool ‘89 out of my mind throughout the entire game.

The game soon resembled a Championship club Vs a club that looks like it might also be heading back down to the Championship. I really don’t want to return to endless Saturday lunchtime KO’s against D***y and all the stress that brings. Neither did MGW, it seems. He was one of the few players that came out of the game with any credit. He bloody loves playing against Wolves.

Up front and Pizza Crouch was showing why the £30M possible transfer fee over the summer should never be triggered. The TNT cameras kept on cutting away to the Big Fat Greek. He didn’t seem a happy fella. The BFG only seems to turn up for these midweek games when he knows he has a decision to make come full time. SHOUT OUT to his box fresh white T-shirt. He may be a portly chap, but he knows how to keep the fast fashion industry alive. Buy it, use it, bin it. And we’re not talking Forest managers here.

The Forest fans never gave up - and neither did the team, to a certain extent. They kept on pressing, but it was clear there was little game plan. Despite all the possession and the ridiculous 35 shots on target, there was always the risk that Wolves might catch us on the break. It was fun for the first 60 minutes or so, but the final half hour was spent thinking JUST BLOODY SCORE and let’s shit house our way to three points.

It wasn’t to be. Dyche headed straight back down the tunnel at FT. He knew what was coming. The BFG did stay until the final whistle, but he also wasted no time in heading back down to his lair to make his next move. I listened to Sir Colin pad away for almost 45 minutes, waiting for Dyche to emerge. It seemed at any stage that a corner flag photo would be posted on X, and Dyche wouldn’t come out for post-match. It was much to my surprise that he did.

Fast forward six hours later. I had little sleep, I had a very early work shift. And I support Forest. Oh woe is me, etc. But yep, the corner flag variation of a photo had landed shortly after midnight. SHOUT OUT to Forest Focus for getting in two pods before the evening was out.

How can a team with Murillo, Anderson, Sangare, MGW and CHO get relegated? OH HAI Pearce, Keane, Stone, Webb, Clough. Oh, and Rosario. That ‘26 pinstripe replica should be burnt and never be seen again.

The planning documents submitted for the Peter Taylor Stand back at the start of the season declared that it is “unlikely” that Forest will be relegated. Even back in August, this raised an unlikely smile. We’re in Europe for the first time in 30 years, and we’ve just spent £200M on improving what was an already outstanding team.

This season has been a shit show, with all the mess created internally. It’s far too easy to blame Edu, but make no mistake, he really should be knee deep in it with the Big Fat Greek right now. He’s come into a club on the way up, and somehow managed to make the whole operation considerably worse. Ditto Dyche with his coaching. He’s made decent players poor. He had to go, Manager of the Month nomination or not.

Brighton away, Fulham at home, Spurs away, Burnley at home is the route to safety. But it looks highly unlikely tbh. A lot will depend on who is unfortunate to take over for the final twelve games in the PL. Plus don’t forget Fenerbahçe away next week. Good luck with that one, as they say.

I love it when we wear all red. It’s a Munich thing, innit. I hate it when we wear all read and play pants. It’s a DIRTY Leeds thing, innit.

OH MY DAYS. This was a shocker. I thought that we had seen the worst of Dyche ball with Bournemouth away, the two Everton games, and Villa away. Not to mention Sturm and Braga on the Euro jollies.

But gosh. This was a performance that has a Head Coach checking the diary to see when the next international break is. Phew. Lucky for Dyche that the Sacking Fortnight isn’t around the corner. He’ll probably last longer than the PM now.

It became clear right from the start that we’re crap on corners. OK, so we’re not privy to what takes place on the training pitch. But the name is something of a dead giveaway.

Corners are your set piece advantage. You get to deliver a cross without being closed down. Your own players should know what is coming. It seemed at times that Forest didn’t even know who should be taking them.

The first Leeds goal was unforgivable. The defence was split wide open. What made it worse was that it had to be an ex-D***y player who benefitted.

The second goal wasn’t much better; the third was a disaster, coming so soon after the break. Like the previous Dyche ball disasters, I really felt for the poor Forest fans who had made the trip on a piss poor evening weather wise.

This season will be remembered for many things: three Head Coaches; Edu loan deals that have gone wrong. But Forest losing in the rain, again, again and again is my lasting memory.

The DIRTY Leeds scarf twirlers did my nut in. So did the substitutions. MGW coming off for Yates? wtf is that all about?

The Big Fella up front at least understood his job description. Pizza Crouch did well to make contact with a high ball and head it in. I don’t think the other Forest players were even given a job description by Dyche.

And so it seems that Dyche ball is our only route to survival. Deep, high crosses, all hit in the hope of the Big Fella muscling in. One nil wins here and there, goalless draws. A fourth from bottom finish, and then pray that the Big Fat Greek calls time on the whole experiment.

I hate having my weekends ruined by constantly having to look out for other results to see where that leaves us.

I’ve struggled to get excited about the supposed rivalry between Forest and Palace. You can’t manufacture these mutual hatreds, just because you’ve got a crap Chairman who doesn’t understand how to open up his emails.

I think the rivalry said more about the provincial ambitions of Palace, than it does about where Forest plan to be in the next three to five years.

Having said that, I did find myself singing along to the Marinakis chants shortly after KO. I don’t think that the Big Fat Greek was actually in the ground. But that’s not the point.

It was a lively start from both teams. Brennan was a worry for the first ten minutes or so. He then seemed to sack off the rest of the match and looked an imposter to the player who sold on to Spurs for £50M. I’d rather have Ryan Yates, any day.

It was nice to see Hendo again, this time in goal for Palace. He served Forest under very testing circumstances. Making the ‘keeper your Captain tells you all you need to know about the situation Place currently find themselves in.

Elsewhere on the pitch, and Hughes was living up to his Pantomime villain persona. To be fair to the D***y reject, he’s done rather well for himself managing to earn a Premier League wedge on very limited talent.

Standing out for Forest in the first half was MGW. He saw his chance in the box and took it. We need more goals from midfield. Harry Hodge made a career out of this. With all the current Forest talk currently fixated on forwards, we tend to forget the value of a box to box goalscorer.

It was at this point that I started to obsessively refresh the BBC live PL table. Blimey - that looks a lot better. We’ll be in touching distance of Europe soon.

Oh hang on - Neco was in touching distance of the ball whilst defending the goal line. WHAT A SAVE! To be fair, it’s the one mistake that he has made wearing the Garibaldi Red. Backs against the wall time, fellas. The second half is going to be a HORRID watch.

Morato Time came about 45 minutes too early for my liking. I was also surprised with the appearance of Ndyoe, instead of, y’know, the two recognised strikers that we have on the bench. It makes me think that Lucca isn’t match fit, and poor old Taiwo can’t be exposed to any injury ahead of a possible shipping out in the morning.

And so what looked like a cruising to three home points after the first five minutes, then became a well-deserved point. It makes the Chelsea win over West Ham all the more important.

Never a dull day down at the World Famous.

The Europa suits were on show again on Thursday evening at the World Famous. ‘cos that worked out well in Braga last time round… We’re not talking Liverpool Spice Boys. It was more Man at C&A. This felt like a Paul Smith wasted opportunity. But hey! This isn’t a fashion show. It’s Forest back on the European stage.

BBC radio Nottingham has the usual excellent pre-match build up. SHOUT OUT to our Man in Kazakhstan, who was interviewed ahead of KO having made the epic journey. I felt a bit of a fraud, sitting back home in Weird Wiv, waiting for Fletch on TNT. I was free all day to travel, and match day tickets were still available.

The team news landed. TWO Academy players starting, wearing the two stars on the badge. I like that. We should make more use of Zac Abbott. Finding somewhere for him to slot into a PL team is tricky.

Sir Colin of West Bridgford explained rather helpfully the odds of Forest progressing to the next round, and avoiding a play-off: 117,000-1. I Believe in Miracles, etc.

The game kicked off. Oh - we appear to be 1-0 up. It was a reverse Yates OG for the poor fella from Ferencvaros. I felt for him.

Another JESUS moment soon followed. At £16M he’s proving to be quite a steal. It would be SUCH a Forest thing to do if we sell him in the window before Monday evening.

With Fletch mooted, Sir Colin mentioned that by scoring a second goal, Forest had slipped from 10th in the League down to 12th. This was an evening for refreshing the BBC live table.

2-0 up and cruising. The main aim now was to try and rehabilitate McaTee into this team. Good luck…

Meanwhile, Ryan Yates was having the game of his life. Only a fool would write him off.

A second goal followed for Jesus. It was a shame he couldn’t hang around to complete a probable hat trick against what was a very poor Ferencvaros.

I had a bit of an OH SHIT moment when the penalty was awarded and MGW looked interested. Thankfully McaTee stepped up and completed the next stage of his rehab.

And so a play off place awaits. You’d be a very brave person to make a possible away trip to Panathinaikos. Betcha the Big Fat Greek won’t be holding back.

I honestly didn’t give a shit about this game after the disaster away in Braga on Thursday. My usual pre-match preparations of endless Forest podcast listening, and tuning into BBC Radio Nottingham ahead of KO, were AWOL. I had no nerves, no expectations. If the team can’t be bothered, then neither can I.

The team news landed - I think. I didn’t even give it a shifty until 15 minutes before KO. No surprises to see that it was the exact same starting eleven that battled so well for the point at home to Arsenal. It’s no secret that Forest have a core of eleven or twelve players that are trusted, whilst the rest can be written off as a summer transfer window that went very wrong.

With no Luiz even on the bench, it looks like the Bearded One has played his last game in the Garibaldi. I would hesitate to say GOOD. But we haven’t exactly seen the superstar Luiz that was billed back in those optimistic days of September. Any Forest player that gets the City Ground light show as part of the signing announcement tends to flop.

Sir Colin of West Bridgford played out the highlights of the 3-1 reverse fixture under Nuno at the start of the season. The world was a very different place back then. Forest were on course for another generation defining season, whilst the Brentford PE teacher Coach was odds for the Sack Race.

I stuck with the BBC commentary and muted the telly. Sir Colin and Perchy were in stitches when the Only Fools and Horses theme was played out over the Gtech speakers. The last time I checked, the TW8 postcode ain’t in Peckham, Bruv.

Forest started superbly. SHIT THE BED. The control and then volley from Jesus was spectacular. If this has been scored by a Cartel 6 club then it would be a shoe in for Goal of the Season. Who needs new strikers, anyway?

This team is infuriating to watch. From the ‘what the fucking hell was that’ in Braga, and then fantasy football away in bloody Brentford only three days later. Is it Morato time yet?

The second half was always going to be ugly. We had to play Nuno Ball, minus the spring of the attack. Elanga would have run riot through a static Brentford back line.

DEFEND! DEFEND!

DEFEND! DEFEND! DEFEND!

And then my own highlight of the season to date dropped.

OH TAIWO. Give that man a ten year contract. This was the Taiwo of old, bullying the defence and using his muscle to bulldoze his way through to the goal. The final shot was half decent as well.

We all know that the old Taiwo won’t come back, but this could add another £5m to his price tag during the last week of the window. If it’s a sign off for Forest, then what a way to say farewell.

The two goal cushion made for a comfortable final ten minutes or so. It was good to silence Brentford and their crappy Hey Jude celebrations come full time. I’ll take Brentford over Braga, any day.

This was always Nuno’s fixture for me. When the draw was made back in September, Nuno’s eyes lit up when enthusing about Braga in his home country. Little did we know at the time that Nuno was well aware that he was unlikely to be the Forest Coach by the time the jolly to Portugal came around. September now seems like a lifetime ago in Forest world.

The team news dropped. It was more or less what I predicted in my head during my afternoon spa session. Honest. I needed a mind game to keep me awake and not start snoring in public. Savona would give Neco a rest, likewise for Morato with Murillo. This fixture was made for Yates I thought, as I drifted in and out of sleep. Seven hours later and Yates would be sleep walking to a European OG.

I also thought it was time to rehabilitate Luiz and Bakwa. McAtee I wasn’t so sure about. Ndoye was a case of needs must when it comes to how Forest have fucked up with forwards in recent weeks. Still, a half decent team, with the Big Guns on the bench, just in case.

The rain ahead of KO was a bit of a concern. For half an hour or so, Sir Colin of West Bridgford seemed convinced that the match would be called off. He even went as far as explaining that Friday afternoon behind closed doors at a different stadium was the fallback option. With Brentford away only two days later, I started my own rain dance in the kitchen.

Out came the players to have a shifty at the Portuguese rain-sodden pitch. Ooooh - blazers with the badge on. Nice. I’ve not seen Forest wear these since the European Glory Days forty five years ago. I’d pay good money for a dodgy eBay club blazer knock off. I’d never wear it, mind.

I fired up the Forest app just ahead of KO for the BBC Radio Nottingham commentary - you know, the one that I pay for. It sounded like Sir Colin was broadcasting from underneath some of the puddles. I unmuted TNT on the telly. It was a nice surprise to hear Fletch having another Forest European jolly, all in the name of paid employment.

I felt confident for the first fifteen minutes or so. Braga were poor, and offered nothing apart from an interesting architectural ground. Also offering nothing were Bakwa and McAtee. I don’t want to go all Dyche and call out individual players, but we ight as well have been out there with nine men. Of course it didn’t help that Dyche had effectively tarred and brushed them both in public after Wrexham away.

The Forest fans were magnificent throughout. I’ve watched visiting German or Spanish teams on the telly in recent years takeover Premier League grounds with their noise. I could only dream that this would be Forest one day. Sadly the show of support didn’t filter down to the players.

I was amazed to see the Wrexham Two hadn’t been hooked at HT. To be fair, they weren’t the only candidates who could have been pulled. It’s saying something that McAtee’s only contribution in a Forest shirt since arriving in September was to win a dodgy penalty away in Braga.

Don’t do your stupid skippy thing, Morgan. DON’T DO YOUR STUPID SKIPPY THING, MOGAN.

Oh shit. He’s done his stupid skippy thing.

Less than a minute later and we were a goal down with what was an horrendous OG. It had to be the Forest Skipper putting the ball through his own net in Europe. One of our own, etc. 5Live the following morning described it as a “grubby” goal. You get the idea.

This had Sabri at home to Stoke vibes all over it. Forest started the match in pole position, yet without any help from the opposition, they managed to find a non-existent banana skin in which to slip up.

On came the cavalry. They couldn’t help out, either. Anderson, CHO and Sangare weren’t bad, but they didn’t exactly help Forest to find the attacking flair that we know this team is capable of.

This was a disgraceful performance. It’s on par for me with the Boxing Day disaster at home to Doncaster in 2008. We booed them off at HT, we booed them back on again at the start of the second. SHOUT OUT to the drenched Forest fans in Braga that made their feelings heard to the players, as well as live on the telly.

Fletch tried to filter his disappointment. You could tell he was crushed as well. This was a performance that might just tip the Big Fat Greek into thinking about a fourth manager in one season. It sounds bat shit crazy, but the longer Dyche gets to coach these world class players, the worse they get.

Something has to change.

I do miss Nuno.

The 3pm KO results did Forest no favours. A draw for Burnley, and late, late wins for both Leeds and West Ham. Bloody Agent Nuno! The pressure was on Forest for the evening telly game. Losing to Arsenal would mean that we are four points from the drop.

The team news landed. It looked decent, but wtf was the summer transfer window all about? £200M spunked, with only one summer recruit in the starting line up. JESUS, etc.

Forest got off to a decent start. This surprised me, and no doubt the 30,000 or so at the World Famous. Earlier in the afternoon I had told my Man Utd pal at Wiv Town that a two or three nil defeat would be fine. Just don’t bloody BATTER us on the telly.

Ana looked fighting fit. It’s too much to pin on one man, but he manages to balance the back four so we are a complete unit. Imagine what might have been if Wood hadn’t missed all season. Oh, and how about Nuno not shouting his mouth off as well? Why not go full circle and get Elanga back on loan. Sigh. We were bloody good last season.

Dominguez also impressed. He was clearly up for the scrap. This is exactly what we need right now. I remember during the first relegation season back in 1992-3 when a returning Neil Webb declared himself fit for BC, and ready to fight relegation. Webby was a classy player, but he was no Dominguez Dog of War. There’s no jingoism in there, btw. Phew.

I just knew Arsenal would score. That’s the Forest way - play well in front of the telly cameras, but then allow the big boys to take the lead.

Hang on, this hasn’t happened. Blimey. I went into HT feeling very happy.

Behind this resurgence was Murillo, MGW and Anderson all back on form. Every Forest player was a 7/10 or above as the game progressed. My optimism grew as the game continued knowing that we had Sels back in goal. wtf was Dyche thinking in dropping him?

The Ndoye sub was interesting. Dyche was clearly sending out a transfer window message to the Big Fat Greek. And to Taiwo. QPR would be a good fit for T right now. Or even D***y, for shit ‘n’ giggles.

Forest somehow got away with what I thought was a very valid penalty claim from Arsenal. You win some, you lose some.

Or rather you don’t. I’ve not celebrated a 0-0 draw with such enthusiasm for some time. We’re still deep in the relegation scrap. I hope we focus on the PL, and treat the Europa as a bit of a break. Dropping back down to the Championship horrifies me.