Crap Match Report: Essex Rebels 76, Reading Rockets 88

To the Essex Sports Arena! …on Saturday evening. This was the first double header of the season for the Rebels, with the recently reformed men’s Division 3 team on court first, followed by a men’s Division 1 game.

Football commitments kept us away from the Div 3 men. We rocked up and took up our seats at the arena to see the final couple of minutes in the 4th quarter.

At first I thought the scoreboard was borked. It said the Rebs were leading 117 to 34. Hang on, that can’t be right.

A few friendly conversations with some Rebs folk then confirmed that this had been an absolute walkover. The visitors from Bedford had come with only 5 players. There was absolutely no one on the bench.

The atmosphere in the arena was flat but a win is a win. Some within the organisation were a little concerned that the sizeable crowd might not hang around for the main attraction, given what they had just witnessed.

It’s a little awkward for the men’s Div 3 team. They’ve had to drop down a year after taking a sabbatical last season. It looks like the season ahead might be something of a stroll for them, with few competitive matches.

Any concerns about the arena being half empty once again for the Div 1 men were soon put aside. Even with England international football on the telly, there was still a half-decent crowd.

Once again coaching for the Rebels was Ashley Jordan. He has stepped up to the role in an impressive manner as the organisation still looks to recruit a full-time coach.

The early exchanges didn’t look good for the Rebs against a really strong Reading Rockets team. The visitors outmuscled the Rebs on their home court in the early exchanges.

We also had our own little tussle with some kids sitting in front of us. They had a right bloody annoying mouth reed-type instrument thingy. One of the young fellows kept on squeaking away in a most annoying fashion.

The Rebels were impressive in the first quarter. They moved the ball around the court at some pace. It would always be a challenge to keep up this level of commitment.

It was a great team effort as they took an 18-14 lead going into the start of the second quarter. They had to work for it, with Reading pushing them all the way.

Reading came out strong in the second. This was a key game as both teams looked to progress in the Trophy. It was pretty much winner takes all to see who would come out on top for the next stage of the knockout competition.

The Rebels' strategy of relying on sharpshooter Kyran Martin to hit his three-pointers won’t win you a game. This isn’t a one-man sport. Martin did remarkably well with most of his shots but not everything is going to sink.

Some great coaching though did take place from Ashley Jordan. With 3 seconds left in the second quarter, he brought on two subs and set up a move which got the three-pointers needed. This left the Rebels trailing 40-42 at the buzzer.

The game got back underway in the third but the scoreboard started to slow down. This then became a low-scoring ball game as Reading started to get away. The shots just wouldn’t sink for the Rebels.

The comeback never really seemed on. They were always chasing the game. The home team rallied in the final couple of minutes but the gap was already too big. Reading left Our House with a well-deserved 88-76 road win.

Crap Match Report: Wivenhoe Town 5, Dussindale and Hellesdon Rovers 1

To Broad Lane! ,,,on Saturday afternoon. I arrived in brilliant Estuary Wilds sunshine. I was fashionably late, natch, but the surprise here was that Wivenhoe Town were already 1-0 up.

The visitors were Dussindale and Hellesdon Rovers - which seemed a bit unfair: two teams versus one. Non-league football can get very confusing at times.

There’s no such thing as a big game in football. They’re all kind of big games, even down in the non-league pyramid.

This was something of a tester for the home team however. After a really encouraging start to the season. Wivenhoe, have let it slip ever so slightly of late.

Sure, there was a great cup win on pens midweek, but the league form, whilst not slipping back to those dark days of last season, hasn’t quite been the promotion push that was suggested a month or so ago.

Dussindale scored a scrappy equaliser. This flushed out a fair number of travelling fans who were in the ground. Good effort in making the trip.

Broad Lane is currently a dust bowl of a pitch. Seed was put down, but it has yet to take root. It all meant that whenever a player hit the surface it was hard to see what was happening. There was a plume of dust cloud hovering up above.

I was just happy to snap away under the bright sunshine conditions. Make the most of these GOLDN DAYS. As soon as winter comes under floodlights, then I’m clutching at straws when it comes to my camera. It’s all about the natural lighting.

An injury led to an enforced drinks break. Please don’t let this shit creep into our game, especially at non-league level.

Wivenhoe kept on pressing, and an absolute worldy of a goal was then scored with a perfection of a lob from out wide. Jack Colback would have been proud of this back in his Forest days. This got the young ultras going.

This was now shaping up to be a great game. There was a decent crowd and it could possibly be the last hurrah of the summer months before the autumn stretches out in front of us.

Another superb solo effort soon made it 3-1 to Wivenhoe. The ‘keeper came out but was caught stranded and the ball was taken around him.

Both teams out there are incredibly young. The game reflected this. It was played in almost a playground football spirit, but with a lot more skill, obvs.

Half-time came and then Wivenhoe wasted no time in making it 4-1 with a brilliant header from up on high. What the fuck is this that I’m watching? This is unknown territory for us down at Broad Lane.

“You missed a goal.”

…I remarked to a friendly football face returning from a pit stop.

“Who scored it?”

…came the response.

“Fuck knows, some fella mate.”

Every time we were on the attack it looked like we were going to score. This was perhaps the most skilled performance I’ve ever seen from a Wivenhoe team.

SHOUT OUT in particular to the young tricky new winger who was recently signed for the club. Every cross was pin-perfect.

What I think I enjoyed most was having a non-league experience not being soiled by the absolute stress of another Premier League Saturday. It was a joy to watch the game without having Forest in the AirPods and leading to me pacing around like a nut job.

It was also a joy to watch two young teams playing with plenty of skill, pace, and absolutely zero cynicism. The away team weren’t as poor as the scoreline suggests. It’s just that Wivenhoe were absolutely superb. Blimey I never thought I’d be saying that.

I even had a time to catch up with Mr Chairman, Mr Owner, and Mr Groundsman. In club news: the brick wall around the perimeter is coming down in the next few weeks and there’s also talk of new floodlights.

Mr Chairman is also optimistic about the visit of Chelmsford City in a cup match next month. A crowd of around 300+ is expected.

Back on the pitch and a right old goal-line comedy scramble took place in the final minute or so. Somehow the Dussindale ‘keeper kept the ball out of the net but then a fifth followed for Wivenhoe.

The Dragons were absolutely dominant.

The Beast Awakens

A roll out on the Raleigh Electric to start Saturday morning. It’s been almost six months since I last pressed the eco button on the absolute beast of a bike and let the Bosch motor work its wonders down below.

It’s been a little complicated; access to the Raleigh Electric has been tricky. I gave the bike something of a once over yesterday evening ahead of the ride to start the weekend. Much to my surprise the battery level of three bars from six months ago had been retained.

The first obstacle to overcome whilst leaving the house was a gig boat being towed right down our road. Saturday morning is the Rat Race for the local gigs.

It’s a very competitive course, which, as the name suggests, takes you around Rat Island and then back down to the Sailing Club. It was quite a sight seeing a full-on gig being towed past our house.

My first thoughts as I put my pedal down and worked in unison with the motor were Christ, this bike is built like a bloody tank. It’s so strong and almost inflexible. It does give you a false sense of security, thinking that you’re on par with motorists on the road. You’re never on par with motorists on the road.

There was a slight early autumnal chill to the air. I could have possibly done with my full on cycling gloves. Soon it will be farewell to the fingerless ones for the season.

It didn’t take long before I passed the first roadside pheasant. He was looking slightly squashed. I don’t think he’ll get to enjoy the weekend.

I then realised I’d got my route all wrong. I missed off the usual turning for the Bobby George Boner. This meant I ended up riding it in reverse. It was most discombobulating.

I passed one of the local ponds that is usually a decent stop off point for a selfie, not so right now. It’s still completely bone dry.

Another signifier for the changing season was the sad sight of no wicket being prepared at Great Bentley. This is normally a regular scene as I cycle past the cricket club. Instead there was a sign up for an Autumn Fair. What goes around comes around.

Having messed up and tackled the route in reverse, I then also had to head down Tenpenny Hill rather than climb it. I would rather climb, to be honest. It’s pretty hairy with motorists trying to take you up from behind.

I passed the first pumpkins of the season outside a house. They weren’t real ones, but some kind of ceramic shit ones placed on top of a couple of gate posts.

The Raleigh Electric held its own as well as pretty much most of the charge. Autumnal and winter days were meant for taking the Raleigh Electric out around the lanes.

Chapeau!

New Cleats, Same Old Cycling Ponce

The ride out on Thursday afternoon was all about testing some new cleats. I finally gave up on my patched up cycling shoes after more than a couple of years of applying cheapo cheapo superglue to the sole. Sometimes in life you just have to accept that even a tight arse penny pinching cyclist such as myself needs to think about an upgrade.

No worries. I had a reserve pair of cycling shoes stashed away specifically for this purpose. I had attached the cleats around six months or so ago, in what I was hoping would be the exact same specification as my old knackered cycling shoes.

It’s all about fine margins when it comes to attaching cleats. The slightest miscalculation, compared to what you’ve known previously, will disrupt your whole cycling style and position.

Look at you, you pro cycling PONCE.

I rolled out rather gingerly and got myself clipped in. I almost came a cropper as I had a very soft testing of the release mechanism in the new cleats.

Anyone who has ever tried cleats for the first time knows that it’s a rite of passage that you will fall off within the first few pedal strokes as you try and unstrap. Somehow I managed to avoid this on Thursday.

I rolled out a little further, practising the chicken feet dance routine. You have to twist your ankles very abruptly, around 45°, and the theory is that your cleats will pop out. Simple, this, right?

Soon I was out along the lanes. I’m always happy when I’m riding a bicycle, even with dickhead close-pass motorists coming up from behind.

The weather conditions seemed ideal. There were bright blue skies and it was sunny up above, but it wasn’t hot and there was a pleasant breeze to propel me along.

I reached Elmstead Market. They’re a funny lot over there. I noticed Christmas decorations, not on one but two separate houses. What the fuck is wrong with some people?

The ride was then pretty much uneventful. I headed out towards Lawford, touched on the boundaries of Manningtree, and then looped back to base. I got caught a little short in the final stretch and had to stop off to water some blackberries.

All that moisture might certainly help over the coming weeks. I also managed to clock the first roadside mushrooms starting to appear.

Let’s do autumn, Halloween, and Bonfire Night before we start thinking about bloody Christmas, right?

Album of the Day: Los Amigos Invisibles - Arepa 3000: A Venezuelan Journey Into Space

A.K.A. a Gilles Peterson wet dream. There’s plenty of funk here, perhaps too much funk. It almost takes over from what could be some otherwise interesting jazz-samba moments. The foreign language element possibly disguises what might be some mundane lyrics. Which sounds incredibly jingoistic, but for all I know they could be getting their groove on, singing about beastly and unspeakable acts. Sure it’s pleasant enough. I guess it would make more sense sitting on a sun terrace and enjoying a lager shandy, but I’m not really that kind of guy.

⭐ ⭐

Album of the Day: Mahalia Jackson - The Apollo Sessions: 1946-1951

Three hours of gospel songs is pushing it even a little too much for me, with my open ears and inquisitiveness to explore and enjoy new types of music. Praise the Lord etc. She’s got a bloody good pair of lungs on her. I guess that’s the deal with gospel: the song’s secondary, it’s the delivery where it counts. Bloody hell this girl can sing, but not for three hours, mind. The start of playing the cricket was approaching. I bailed after around 45 minutes.

⭐ ⭐ ⭐

Abberton, Soil and Superglue

I’ve probably cycled the Abberton Reservoir route more times in the past month or so than is usual for this time of year. The main reason that I’ve still only really got access to my road bike. Abberton is a perfect route for this. It has the added bonus of allowing me to stop off towards the end for a brief swim and a freshen up in the spa.

Chapeau!

Wednesday was no different. We always seem to experience something of a run of barmy late Indian summers around the Estuary Wilds this time of year. These are now not freakish, but they have become the norm. If we’re approaching October then it must mean that it’s still 25° or so outside. The aim is to get these rides in on the road bike whilst I still can.

The route remained the same but with ever changing observations in the fields around me. The land has been freshly ploughed. There was a rather invigorating scent of soil rising from down below as I cycled along the lane corridors. It looks a little dry this year, mind.

It was all going so well until I reached the final run in towards Colchester and the gym. My cycling shoes finally gave up on me after years of patching them up. It’s no big deal. It’s just that the hardened sole has been bolted on with various cheapo cheapo superglue solutions every couple of months or so. I think they have finally reached the end of the road.

Also pretty shitty was the hellish approach towards the Hythe. There’s a series of temporary traffic lights on this final stretch. There were some pretty piss poor tailbacks, which I felt obliged to respect rather than queue jump.

I think the lesson to learn here is to always stick to the lanes, try and find an escape route that involves avoiding as many dickhead motorists as possible, and just get out there and ride.

Oh - and perhaps finally make the switch to the new pair of cycling shoes I’ve had stashed away for a few years.

WivGigs Midweeker

Tide and time were in our favour for the WivGigs Wednesday midweek social. There was no scrambling around for a 6 am launch, or flapping about later in the day to try and make the most of the fading Estuary Wilds rays. The Tide and Time Gods granted us a very genteel launch time of 9:15 am.

No surprises for a midweek row in that there was absolutely bugger all any other traffic out on the water. Everything seemed gorgeously green. The leaves on the trees along the seawall were hanging on to their late summer hue. This was reflected down on the water in front of us.

We did spot the tall lone plastic picker dude out along White House Beach. Respect, fella. He was doing his daily duty of walking around and picking up any old crap that dickheads had discarded.

It looked as though the migrating birds were having something of a weather check. Various flocks of Gawd knows what were circling around us, possibly planning their next expedition back for the winter months.

Not so the cormorants who were still perched proud on the poles within the water.

We headed downstream and then back towards the Sailing Club. There was something of an aborted attempt at landing, but our cox had other plans in mind, with a little further stretch down to Windy Corner in Rowhedge.

We were treated to the most spectacular flypast from around a dozen or so Canada geese who were flying with perfect synchronicity over our heads.

A decent midweeker.

Album of the Day: Jay‐Z - The Black Album

I struggled with this album. I only know it through The Grey Album. The rhymes are familiar but the beats aren’t. No disrespect but The Beatles provide far better backing for Jay-Z than some of the beats on offer here. It’s all very sharp, almost computer perfect. I think that’s why I like The Grey Album so much. The Beatles fray around the edges of Jay-Z’s delivery, creating something a lot more relaxed, yet still real.

⭐ ⭐