onionbagblog

Proof that there aren’t actually 1,001 albums you must listen to before you die.

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I was up towards the top end of the town with a little time to spare. And when I say the top end of the town, woh - I mean the very top. We’re talking Wivenhoe Park basically. It would be rude not to have a bit of a shifty and a wander around my old haunt, right?

Our University time these days is restricted to more or less basketball watching. Straight in, straight out. I took the time today to walk around the sports pitches, down to the lakes, through the North Towers wind tunnel, and then back up again towards the Sports Arena. Back in the day and that would have been my exercise for the entire term.

Campus was relatively quiet. Exam season, innit. I kinda blended in, and just about got awy with it. I’d wager in ten years time then my young-ish Boy About Town looks won’t be quite so forgiving.

Next!

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These Forest Crap Match Reports come round quicker than another SHIT THE BED moment for the Reds. Monday afternoon in West London was no different. A 3-1 away win against the World Club Champions, with the Forest B team playing? I didn’t see that one coming. Does this now make Forest the current World Club Champions? Steady the buffers.

The team news landed. DEEP breath. Blimey. Talk about calling Emery’s bluff. The Garibaldi conspiracy theory of Villa forcing Forest to play their A team ahead of the Europa semi, after ‘allowing’ #lolspurs to win on Sunday, backfired big time. Pereira called Emery’s bluff. Anything you can do, I can do better. And that includes starting with the stiffs.

Calling Taiwo a stiff is a little unfair. He made his 100th appearance for Forest at one of his favourite hunting grounds for goals. Surely he couldn’t, could he? Erm… I hadn’t even settled with the BBC Radio Nottingham audio sync with the telly pictures as Big T celebrated. Expect Chelsea to bid £40m for him over the summer.

A second soon followed, after Taiwo was pulled from behind in the box and a penalty was awarded. I didn’t mind who took it, but it would have been ACE to see T smash it home. JESUS, etc. It wasn’t quite the same TWATTING of a Chris Wood pen, but they all count.

This then became an exhausting watch. The endless VAR reviews - surprisingly going our way - and injuries made this a very, very nervy watch, despite Forest never really being in any danger. The third goal for the Reds was another T special, after some impressive work down the wing from MGW. A man can have no greater love than 90 minutes and his friends, etc.

SHOUT OUT to, oh, where to start? I can’t believe that I’m saying this, but there was some genuine 10/10 performances from the likes of Morato, Netz and Bakwa. All the fringe players could yet to prove their worth during the final run in as we chase European glory, balanced with PL survival.

And so with five wins in a row, and ten unbeaten, one half of the above could be completed next weekend. A win for Forest against Newcastle should keep us safe. Failing that and a West Ham defeat in the later Super Sunday KO away at Arsenal will get us over the line. We’re SO close…

Chelsea were crap btw. Nasty club, nasty fans. So there.

There’s a fantastic Forest conspiracy theory doing the rounds right now as we reach the PL / Europa run-in. It goes along the lines of Emery picking a weakened side for Villa against #lolspurs, with little interest in winning that match.

The logic is that a Spurs win on Sunday would motivate the need for Forest to beat Chelsea away on Monday. We’d have to play the A team, and not the stiffs and summer transfer rejects. This in turn would tire us out ahead of the second leg of the Europa semi against Villa on Thursday.

I’m starting to believe in conspiracy theories. The Villa 2-0 home defeat against #lolspurs was the worst ‘professional’ football performance that I’ve ever seen. I use to quite like Villa. All respect for the club has been lost overnight.

Tinfoil hats will be worn at The Bridge later today.

TWO boats were out along the Estuary Wilds as part of WivGigs Social Sunday. We’re weren’t alone. There was plenty of other river traffic, bobbing and weaving along the Muddy Banks. I was on second stroke in Varuna. We managed to outpace the WADS and the Cadets, and then powered on towards Buoy 18.

The weather became changeable as we reached the mouth of the estuary. This was a day for pondering the dilemma of shorts or trackies, T-shirts or long sleeves? I decided to mix ‘n’ match my sartorial look, with bare legs, long sleeves.

There was plenty of water for us to explore, with another whopper of a high tide. The waves became a little choppy as we attempted our turn around Buoy 18. The conversation in the boat was football based, along with running injuries. I have a foot in both camps right now, so to speak.

I volunteered to jump out of Varuna as we approached the Sailing Club to secure her. It’s always a little hit and miss, dangling over the side, and waiting to reach the hard as the boat floats up towards the Sailing Club. TOUCHDOWN was achieved.

There was a BBQ breaking out by the Sailing Club. Sadly work commitments kept me away.

I don’t want to come across as a language snob, but I did struggle with this on account of the Portuguese. I tried to look beyond the language barrier, and focus on the music. But it was a little doom and gloom. The ballads work better than the attempts at Porto party tunes. The spoken word tracks had me skipping. And not in a good way.

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A weird game of Wiff Waff at the Table of Dreams for Sunday morning. Another couple were already playing when we rocked up. GOOD EFFORT, etc. We decided to take a slight detour and wander around the park for a short while. There was plenty of activity.

SHOUT OUT Weird Wiv Town Council, who in-between attempting to piss off ‘activists’ (erm, residents) by cutting down trees and closing community bicycle kitchens, have actually done something half decent. The new outdoor gym at the top of the field is finally open.

We spent ten minutes or so putting ourselves through the various workouts. Some of the equipment seems to be aimed at the top end of the fitness market. The settings are all wrong. I’m no peak Gym Bunny, but I should be able to lift the bench press and dips machines. Nope. Oh well.

Elsewhere and a game of boules was breaking out on the new court by the Table of Dreams. A young mother was setting up a Bank Holiday outdoor party, with plenty of games, party bags etc. Good luck, Madam.

We had around ten minutes of play on the Table of Dreams before I had to bugger off. We decided to focus on the warm up, inspired by our visit to the World Champs earlier in the week. We were both in awe of the elite players as they warmed up with speed rallies of a forehand and backhand to opposite sides of the table.

Spoiler: it’s not as easy as it looks.

To the Essex Sports Arena! …on Saturday afternoon as the Rebs women tipped off against London Lions in a home court play off quarter-final. Having secured a regular season fourth placed finish - the highest in the club’s history - the reward was to welcome Ldn Lions to Our House.

And what a welcome. The theme for the afternoon was black out. Rebs fans were encouraged to wear all black to create an intimidating backdrop for the arrival of Ldn Lions. It was a good opportunity to air my black shorts for the first time this season.

The Rebs organisation had done a great job in mobilising the fan base with such short notice ahead of the game. There were queues stretching out of the Arena and towards the Sports Centre just ahead of tip off. The women’s team has managed to build a strong family following around Sunny Colch.

Rebs were a little short-benched. Not dressed for the home team were Nat Chau and Leah McDerment. Both are experienced players who have plenty to offer with such a young team assembled.

Tip off came, and the Rebs game plan soon became clear: Shock and Awe. Rebs raced to an impressive 30-14 lead, come the first buzzer. The challenge would be to keep up this relentless pace throughout the rest of the game.

Ldn Lions came out for the second quarter playing a more physical game. They tried to counter the pace of the Rebs by roughing them up. It didn’t work. There’s a reason why the Rebs have a home court record this season of P9, W9: the speed in which they move the ball around is unplayable at times.

Rhema Ogele was superb, having her best game so far in a Rebs jersey. A huge three pointer from Captain CP gave the Rebs an impressive 61-27 lead at the break. The players were cheered off after what had been one of the most dominant halves of basketball that I’ve ever seen. Outstanding.

The aim after the break was to reach 100 points, and not to allow the Lions back into the game. The pace of the scoring slowed down slightly in the third, with Rebs leading 84-44 at the end of the third.

The fourth quarter was all about keeping calm, but continuing to take your chances. A play-off semi was within reach. SHOUT OUT Coach Cookson who used his bench wisely. The home crowd reacted strongly when the final finishing five players were the youngest in the club. They didn’t let the team down, either.

And so a very, very impressive 93-72 home court win for the Rebs. The women have been a joy to watch this season with their speed, skill and blend of experience and rookie players. A home record of P10, W10 is well deserved.

Up the Rebs!

To The Oval! …on Friday morning for Day 1 of the ‘rrey Vs Sussex. Did you think I would stay away? Not a chance, Comrades. Nothing had changed - the way I like it. We even managed to blag my FAVE seats in all of S Ldn, perched up on high in the top tier of the SSE, with S Ldn stretching out all around us to enjoy.

We also chose the perfect day for a cricket jolly day out. The blue sky up above was tempered with a light breeze blowing across SE11. Everything was ideal - apart from us missing the first wicket. Whoops.

Surrey won the toss and took to the field. there has been plenty of debate already this season about the state of The Oval wicket. Bowling has become problematic. Various technical reasons have been given for the failure for Surrey to skittle sides out, as was the case two, three and four years ago.

We needn’t have worried on Friday morning. The ‘rrey were aggressive from the start, with Jordan Clarke even taking a fifer before luncheon. Matt Fisher backed him up brilliantly from the Vauxhall End, with Reece Topley waiting in the wings whenever the double act needn’t a break.

Plans for wiff waff at The Oval Table of Dreams at luncheon were abandoned. It was just too bloody hot. I was semi-suited and booted with a posho jacket as well. Instead we retired to the relative shade of the first tier of the SSE.

Sussex came out after luncheon and regrouped. I hit the BOOZE. M then rocked up and joined us for the final session. It felt like I had never been away…

Chin chin.