I was a man on a mission on Sunday morning: operation buy two pairs of the Lidl carbon plated cheapo running shoes. But first a bicycle ride. Two birds, one stone etc. The plan was for an early roll out along the lanes, and then arrive at Lidl in Sunny Colch just ahead of the 10am store opening. What could go wrong?

There was still a slight frost shortly after 8am. This was visibly burning off with every km as I pushed ahead. There were no other cyclists at all, which was slightly odd. The only company I had was what seemed like hundreds of Essex Scouts, all scattered along the route on some sort of ramble. Character building, or something.

I made the Sunny Colch approach via the University. Campus was deserted. Easter holidays, innit. I had a momentary thought tback o thirty six years ago, where my Easter break was spent thinking how the fuck do I write a 10,000 dissertation in time for the start of the new term. Somehow I managed to blag it.

Destination Lidl was reached. The bicycle racks were full. Oh. This can only mean one thing: the cheapo road runners / cyclists of Sunny Colch all had the same idea as me. But they were ahead of the game, as I arrived fashionably late at 10:01am. ARSE.

I made my way straight to the middle aisle. I could see where the carbon wonders were, by simply looking for the bun fight that was breaking out. Blimey, these didn’t hang around long. I picked up the last pair of size 8’s for me, and the final pair of size 6’s for her. Job’s a good ‘un.

Another spring Sunday morning, another roll out on the Raleigh electric. There was a bright sun to burn off the overnight Estuary Wilds frost, plus I had some extra energy to release ahead of Forest’s big game away at Spurs later in the afternoon.

It didn’t take long for me to warm up. It wasn’t exactly short sleeves weather, but we’re not far off. You know that you’re entering the cycling season when you pass more and more riders each weekend. SHOUT OUT to the Sunny Colch Cycle UK crowd who I passed just outside of Little Bentley.

My route remains limited - for now. The lane that opens up possibilities of heading over to Lawford, Dedham and beyond remains closed. The bloody Garden Village is going to shit all over this landscape, as well as my own cycling options.

But on Sunday morning, with blue sky, a beautiful Raleigh ride and dry roads, I came up smiling.

There was Estuary Wilds blue skies to greet me on Sunday morning. After what seems like months of wet roads, this was a half decent opportunity to roll out on the Raleigh electric for a brief burst.

Chapeau!

The first Spring Classic of the year was a short 30-ish km circuit around the lanes, on the usual Bobby George BONER route. The route heading out towards Lawford is still a no go zone, thanks to the bloody Garden Village.

Daffodils had formed on either side of the road for most of the ride. There were a few other cyclists, plus plenty of runners. SHOUT OUT to the family of four out running together.

The close pass count was low. There was a couple of incidents that I could have reported, but the spring daffs had left me in a good mood. Being overtaken by a motorbike club run was a bit of an arse, especially as some of the leather boys decided to sway towards me.

Whatever.

More Spring Classics to come, please.

To the Northern Gateway! For the first track training session of the spring! Chapeau! But first, let’s ‘service’ the road bike. It’s been in the back of the shed throughout the winter months. If you own a white bicycle, then there’s no bloody way that it’s getting an outing during the DIRTY winter months. The service involved oiling the chain and putting some air in the tyres. Job’s a good ‘un.

I rolled out, feeling a little uncertain and lightweight. The frame is so agile. I’ve been spoilt by riding an absolute bloody beast of an electric hybrid. But sometimes you want the simplicity and beauty of a bicycle that you pick up with a few fingers, and then be fancy free and FAST as you make your way over to the Northern Gateway.

Oh yeah - the bloody Northern Gateway. The complex is ACE. The track is superb to ride. It’s just an absolute arse to get there from this side of town. It’s pretty shitty that the town / city’s major public leisure complex is only really accessible in a crappy car. It would get far more patronage from me if there was at least a dedicated cycle path heading up there.

I rocked up at the track, and bloody hell - I’ve got it all to myself. I had forty five minutes of putting my foot down on the pedals and completing my own personal time trial. Windy Corner at the far end of the track was thankfully closed off with bollards. I think this was more in anticipation of the Wellbeing Wheels session that was to follow after my ride. I followed the guidance and was happy to avoid this particularly nasty stretch of the track. I didn’t change gear once throughout the forty five minutes of time trialling.

Chapeau!

www.youtube.com/watch

Course or Conditional Offer.

A slightly damp morning out on the Raleigh electric around the lanes. There was just enough surface water to pray upon my OCD mind throughout the hour and fifteen minutes or so. Mmmm - that’s going to need at least ten minutes of cleaning the bicycle back at base.

As ever, time and tide were tight. I had a work shift mid-morning. This meant time trialling it around the Bobby George BONER route. BALLS to OCD cleanliness and splashing. Just don’t be late for work. The sacrifices I have to make these days…

Climbing Tenpenny Hill was the usual motorist dickhead nightmare. Sunday morning has more traffic than any midweek commute. It’s a consequence of the Brightlingsea One Road In, One Road Out mentality. Only two closes passes were captured, ready to be shared with Essex Police later in the day.

Chapeau!

And I wasn’t late for work.

THREE pairs of tights were needed for the New Year’s Eve roll out. We started off with the temperature barely above freezing. The dial didn’t move when we headed back to base a couple of hours later.

Brrrrr. That was a bloody cold one.

We played it safe with the tried and tested Bobby George BONER route. I know every kerbside, pothole and potential danger spot inside out. I wasn’t taking any risks on New Year’s Eve.

That still didn’t stop FOUR dickhead motorists from deciding to close pass us. On NYE ffs. It’s not so much the danger that it puts us in; it’s the bloody pain of uploading four separate video clips to Essex Police each time.

But I am a persistent bugger, if nothing else. If you close pass me, I’ll dob you in to the police. I see it as my duty to try and stop you from intimidating other cyclists. So there. Happy bloody New Year, etc.

The rest of the ride was pretty uneventful. We passed some road kill by the side of the road. I think it was a fox. Poor thing. Betcha he didn’t have an on board video cam.

An optimistic ice cream van was trying to conjure up some NYE trade towards the Sunny Colch end approach of the ride. Good luck with that one, fella. We pressed on to Lidl and stocked up with some cheapo cheese instead.

Chapeau!

An extra layer of clothing was needed for the Boxing Day morning bicycle ride. Having frozen my bollocks off on Christmas Day, I wisely reached for the Long Johns for my Boxing Day comfort blanket. I needed them as well.

It wasn’t so much the temperature change, but more the windchill. Christ, it was biting out there this morning. It was no surprise to see that I shaved three minutes off the exact same route as yesterday. The wheel that turns is the wheel that burns, etc.

It was otherwise an uneventful roll out. I’m still crocked from running with a calf strain. That shows no sign of healing anytime soon. Hey Hoe. Run Every Day in January looks like it ain’t happening this year.

The Boxing Day traffic had picked up from Christmas Day. Travellers were busy going to wherever they needed to be at 9am. Each to their own, but I was just happy to be out on my bicycle.

A bitterly cold bicycle ride for Christmas Day morning. I was dressed not to impress with five layers. Two of these were industrial ex-army military wear. It wasn’t your average pro-rider look.

The roads were empty for the first half hour or so as we headed out on the usual Bobby George BONER route. We passed a couple of kids trying out their Christmas Day electric scooters. Riding, wheeling, walking - it’s all active travel, innit.

Blue skies were up above, as well as an Estuary Wilds sun that refused to offer up any warmth. Cheers, Estuary Wilds sun. I was determined to make the most of the dry roads, given the wet weather in recent weeks.

I cut short the 35km route by around 5km with a shortcut around some farm lanes. I didn’t warm up once throughout the ride.

It’s rare for me to ride on Christmas Day. I am scared shitless of puncturing. Thankfully no mechanical incidents this morning. I even let off a couple of close passing cars that were contenders to be uploaded to the Essex Police portal of shame.

Chapeau!

Hey! Let’s for a bicycle ride! On a bloody cold November lunchtime with the potential for black ice on the roads!

This wasn’t the wisest of moves. But I had a spare couple of hours, and there was blue sky up above.

I’ve been pretty much trapped in Weird Wiv over the past fortnight. All roads in, and all roads out have been closed for various roadworks.

That’s an exaggeration, obvs. But it has been a right bloody pain to plot a circular route with constant road closures.

I wasn’t entirely sure that I had a clear run in front of me. I decided to chance my luck.

Five minutes in and I was dismounting and pushing the Raleigh electric around a blockade of roadworks.

Arse.

I was already bloody cold, and didn’t really warm up for the next hour and a half or so.

I headed out around the lame Bobby George BONER of a route. It’s a not very challenging 30km or so circuit. It was the first time I have ridden these lanes in over a month.

Nothing had changed, natch.

The highlight was catching some local kids at Alresford receiving some road training on their bicycles.

I believe the children are our future, etc.

Chapeau!

I’m still bloody cold as I type.