onionbagblog

A return to the outdoor Table of Dreams, early evening on Wednesday. It’s been a while. We’ve been spoilt with the Five Star facilities of, erm, the Sailing Club, and the indoor table. The lure of the mild weather, little wind and general cabin sickness got us both outdoors.

We weren’t alone. The Easter Holidays meant that the field was full of young kids and teens, all doing the young kids and teens thing. I don’t miss the audio assault on your eardrums after running my arse around a S Ldn school all day long.

The seasonal weather also meant that the first cutting of the grass had taken place around the Table. It was only a few weeks ago that wellies were needed as we pinged and ponged back and forth like pigs in shit. The smell of the freshly cut grass was arousing. The local yoof meanwhile were enjoying their grass fights.

We pressed on with the game. I managed to find my length outdoors a little sooner than my opponent. Oh hang on - I’m bloody winning here. Time was a little tight - which was no bad thing as it meant I couldn’t enter my usual mid-game boredom phase.

A 3-2 victory was mine for the taking.

GEDDIN.

“I’ve been doing social media for nearly 20 years and I was brilliant at it, but today’s social media, all about reels and fancy videos targeted at the increasingly shorter attention spans of today’s generation mean this is a very different social media, far less fun.”

via the Coffee Ponce of SW8

“I remember the sort of grittiness. It was a mixture of the wonderful smells of the city mingled with the diesel from the buses and the coal dust in the air. The smell of the urban environment struck me as something I will always remember.”

via Left Lion

This was a pleasant surprise. I was expecting macho posturing and profanities. Never judge an album by its cover, etc. This is a very thoughtful album. There’s shades of Loyle Carner, plus also The Good, The Bad and The Queen. Mustafa has a self-awareness throughout, along with a relevance to modern living. I like this.

⭐ ⭐ ⭐

Well this is an angry group of young men. It makes a change from the recent pop crap served up over recent days. It also makes a bloody racket. Strong punk Yoko vibes. I can’t work out if this is a musical masterpiece, or total shit. Not exactly bedroom music to drift off to.

⭐ ⭐

Hey! We’re both free for a Monday afternoon cheapo Odeon £5 deal. What crap do you want to watch today? Erm… Project Hail Mary looks like the type of tat that will fill the time. The BONKERS trailer made it look vaguely appealing.

Two and a half hours later and I’m not so sure. Christ, that was a bloody long film. It could have been halved, and still just about made sense.

We made the, ahem, school boy error of going during half term week. Kids ahoy! Even with all the racket going off, I still managed to doze off during the trailers. This didn’t bode well for a two and a half hour epic.

Project Hail Mary is a sci-fi comedy. Surprisingly there’s no romance involved. Instead we have some bromance between Ryan Reynolds' teacher character, and, erm, an alien that looks like a rock. This isn’t one of the great cinematic romances.

The plot is ridiculous. The sun is dying. Reynolds is taken away from the classroom, and placed on a one way trip towards the sun to try and fix things. En route he meets his bromance alien interest. Together they save the world. Or worlds. Or something.

It’s quite a cute watch, although the science angle went completely over my head. It’s not the type of film that you are going to be able to watch at home without reaching for your screen.

SHOUT OUT to the couple who thought it was a good idea to take a toddler to sit through two and a half hours without crying. The little ankle biter managed less than five minutes of silence.

An album recorded by Committee, Chaired by pop bots.

⭐

I was a man on a mission on Sunday morning: operation buy two pairs of the Lidl carbon plated cheapo running shoes. But first a bicycle ride. Two birds, one stone etc. The plan was for an early roll out along the lanes, and then arrive at Lidl in Sunny Colch just ahead of the 10am store opening. What could go wrong?

There was still a slight frost shortly after 8am. This was visibly burning off with every km as I pushed ahead. There were no other cyclists at all, which was slightly odd. The only company I had was what seemed like hundreds of Essex Scouts, all scattered along the route on some sort of ramble. Character building, or something.

I made the Sunny Colch approach via the University. Campus was deserted. Easter holidays, innit. I had a momentary thought tback o thirty six years ago, where my Easter break was spent thinking how the fuck do I write a 10,000 dissertation in time for the start of the new term. Somehow I managed to blag it.

Destination Lidl was reached. The bicycle racks were full. Oh. This can only mean one thing: the cheapo road runners / cyclists of Sunny Colch all had the same idea as me. But they were ahead of the game, as I arrived fashionably late at 10:01am. ARSE.

I made my way straight to the middle aisle. I could see where the carbon wonders were, by simply looking for the bun fight that was breaking out. Blimey, these didn’t hang around long. I picked up the last pair of size 8’s for me, and the final pair of size 6’s for her. Job’s a good ‘un.

AI could churn this out with an 80’s fused with Latino prompt. SO 1980’s, and not in a good way. It could be the soundtrack to any of those trashy coming of age movies. I felt that I should be wearing leg warmers whilst listening. Bailed after three tracks.

⭐

I’ve not really got an opinion on this album. It started, it ended. I didn’t bail. I struggled to think of anything meaningful to write. It didn’t annoy me, it didn’t inspire me to try and pick up a cheapo copy online. If I heard it again then I wouldn’t mind. But I’ve got more exciting music to explore.

⭐ ⭐ ⭐

This is completely new on me. I rather liked it. Inoffensive, sweet, soulful. Disco folk? Possibly. It’s music for middle aged arses like me, who still want to dance, but don’t want a bloody racket messing up my morning.

⭐ ⭐ ⭐ ⭐