Crap Match Report: Wivenhoe Town 5, Dussindale and Hellesdon Rovers 1

To Broad Lane! ,,,on Saturday afternoon. I arrived in brilliant Estuary Wilds sunshine. I was fashionably late, natch, but the surprise here was that Wivenhoe Town were already 1-0 up.

The visitors were Dussindale and Hellesdon Rovers - which seemed a bit unfair: two teams versus one. Non-league football can get very confusing at times.

There’s no such thing as a big game in football. They’re all kind of big games, even down in the non-league pyramid.

This was something of a tester for the home team however. After a really encouraging start to the season. Wivenhoe, have let it slip ever so slightly of late.

Sure, there was a great cup win on pens midweek, but the league form, whilst not slipping back to those dark days of last season, hasn’t quite been the promotion push that was suggested a month or so ago.

Dussindale scored a scrappy equaliser. This flushed out a fair number of travelling fans who were in the ground. Good effort in making the trip.

Broad Lane is currently a dust bowl of a pitch. Seed was put down, but it has yet to take root. It all meant that whenever a player hit the surface it was hard to see what was happening. There was a plume of dust cloud hovering up above.

I was just happy to snap away under the bright sunshine conditions. Make the most of these GOLDN DAYS. As soon as winter comes under floodlights, then I’m clutching at straws when it comes to my camera. It’s all about the natural lighting.

An injury led to an enforced drinks break. Please don’t let this shit creep into our game, especially at non-league level.

Wivenhoe kept on pressing, and an absolute worldy of a goal was then scored with a perfection of a lob from out wide. Jack Colback would have been proud of this back in his Forest days. This got the young ultras going.

This was now shaping up to be a great game. There was a decent crowd and it could possibly be the last hurrah of the summer months before the autumn stretches out in front of us.

Another superb solo effort soon made it 3-1 to Wivenhoe. The ‘keeper came out but was caught stranded and the ball was taken around him.

Both teams out there are incredibly young. The game reflected this. It was played in almost a playground football spirit, but with a lot more skill, obvs.

Half-time came and then Wivenhoe wasted no time in making it 4-1 with a brilliant header from up on high. What the fuck is this that I’m watching? This is unknown territory for us down at Broad Lane.

“You missed a goal.”

…I remarked to a friendly football face returning from a pit stop.

“Who scored it?”

…came the response.

“Fuck knows, some fella mate.”

Every time we were on the attack it looked like we were going to score. This was perhaps the most skilled performance I’ve ever seen from a Wivenhoe team.

SHOUT OUT in particular to the young tricky new winger who was recently signed for the club. Every cross was pin-perfect.

What I think I enjoyed most was having a non-league experience not being soiled by the absolute stress of another Premier League Saturday. It was a joy to watch the game without having Forest in the AirPods and leading to me pacing around like a nut job.

It was also a joy to watch two young teams playing with plenty of skill, pace, and absolutely zero cynicism. The away team weren’t as poor as the scoreline suggests. It’s just that Wivenhoe were absolutely superb. Blimey I never thought I’d be saying that.

I even had a time to catch up with Mr Chairman, Mr Owner, and Mr Groundsman. In club news: the brick wall around the perimeter is coming down in the next few weeks and there’s also talk of new floodlights.

Mr Chairman is also optimistic about the visit of Chelmsford City in a cup match next month. A crowd of around 300+ is expected.

Back on the pitch and a right old goal-line comedy scramble took place in the final minute or so. Somehow the Dussindale ‘keeper kept the ball out of the net but then a fifth followed for Wivenhoe.

The Dragons were absolutely dominant.