To the Oval! …on Wednesday morning - especially early on Wednesday morning, what with a 10:30 am start time for the County Championship in September.
The journey in was smooth. I arrived at Liverpool Street to find a platform smelling of sick. I was hoping this wouldn’t be a sign of things to come as I had a big bag of BOOZE stashed away with me.
Liverpool Street was interesting. I stepped onto the main concourse and almost had to duck as half a dozen Feds ran past with their rifles. The PA announced that Inspector Sands was needed. We all know what’s happening next, right? Maybe it was related to the sick incident. It was time to get the fuck out ASAP.
But nothing would stop me getting in the way of my Too Good To Go cheapo food bag that I had to pick up from Starbucks.
Police rifles, Inspector Sands, platforms reeking of chunder; It’s all about me and Too Good To Go right?
You can spot the old boy Championship geezers a mile off on the tube journey down to SE11. It’s an easy game of Eye Spy: 55+, usually with a rucksack and with a weathered face. Welcome to the club.
This could possibly be my last day of cricket this summer down at The Oval - and also for Surrey as well. I was planning to celebrate in style. I’ve been BOOZE free for five weeks now. How the fuck did that happen?
I was a little concerned yesterday, thinking that the game might be over and done with before lunch on day two. There was some batshit crazy bowling taking place on Tuesday. Twenty wickets falling within a day is not your usual County Championship scorecard.
Truth be told, I wanted to see Glamorgan bat out at least the first two sessions. This would at least mean I get value for money for my freebie Championship ticket.
Glamorgan didn’t disappoint. They managed to achieve their first 50 run opening partnership of the season since Sussex, way back in June. Note to any visiting teams down at The Oval this year: don’t worry, Dr. Surrey is here to help you.
It was all rather sedate. I actually managed to doze off for a short while.
Luncheon came and went. We departed to the Oval Table of Dreams for a quick knock-up. I was well and truly knocked up, trailing 4-0 as the Oval bell started to ring once again.
We switched our position to the Pavilion for the afternoon session. Different surroundings, same scenario. I dozed off.
Something had to change. I wanted to go out on an absolute fucking high for one final time this summer. We made the strategic move over to the Peter May, and I wasted no time going on the piss.
I took my life in my hands wearing a Forest gilet amongst the Peter May Palace boys. It’s them that’s got the problem, not me.
Sitting in front of us was the most delightful artist type chap. He was sketching away at various crowd scenes in front of him. He would have had a field day if there was an all too rare sighting these days of Mr. Hairy Back Man.
Surrey were making bloody hard work trying to skittle out a very resilient Glamorgan side. The floodlights came on. This seemed to add a little extra energy to the Surrey attack. The breakthrough came from young Blake Thomas.
Late in the afternoon, Lobby took up his seat in the Peter May behind us. There was no chance of dozing off here.
The tea interval came and the spectators were invited to inspect the wicket. We watched in horror as some Bright Young Thing strolled right out into the middle, completely barefoot. We had earlier witnessed some Surrey players gobbing in the outfield. This was a major OCD fail.
Booze and conversation kind of took over for the evening session. I’ve watched the most cricket ever this summer, both IRL and on the telly. I’ve loved every moment of it.
I took a moment to look around the old ground for the final time this year as the Umps knocked off the bales. When an old cricketer leaves the crease, etc.
But wait! What’s this?
There’s fighting talk of a possible trip over to HQ next week to see The ‘Sex against Northants. It might be Championship Division 2, but it could be a taste of things to come for Surrey next season.
C’mon the ‘rrey!
