I had a major fashion faux pas whilst out for a run this morning. Actually, the major fashion faux pas took place in the Lidl middle aisle yesterday afternoon. That’s where most of my fashion faux pas have tended to have occurred over recent years.
The Lidl middle aisle is ace for sporting goods. Why pay over the odds for running tops and shorts that you’re only going to sweat your arse off whilst wearing? Simply buy at Lidl, sweat your arse off for a year or so, and then buy and replace. Talk about fast fashion, etc.
And so on Thursday I clocked in the cheapo aisle some UV tops. Great, I thought. These are just what I need to keep the pesky sun rays off my lovely ink sleeves. Even better when the price said two for £6.
I got to the self-checkout. Beep. Beep. That’ll be £12 please. WTF? Always read the small print, always read the correct pricing labels, even in the Lidl cheapo aisle, Jase.
Oh well. All is not lost. I got home and surveyed my recent purchase. Oh Gawd. It turns out that they are actually more aquatic wear rather than outdoor physical running wear.
They look as though they’re designed for an afternoon of splashing around on Clacton Beach rather than pounding the mean streets of C07.
No worries, I thought. As long as that magical UV is working its wonders, I could probably still get away with these as running tops.
Friday morning came and the grand road testing of my aquatic tops that are not really aquatic tops arrived. Christ, they stank. I’m not sure what’s been used in the material to keep them waterproof but it didn’t half pen and ink.
They were bloody tight as well, but I pressed on. Around one minute into the run I was absolutely soaking wet. I was looking a right dick.
At least the aquatic kind of lives up to the tagline; although they didn’t keep the water out, they certainly kept the water within.
Hey hoe. We live and learn, even in the Lidl cheapo aisle. I’ve had the brainwave of reverting back to what these are supposed to be used for. I go rowing; I go kayaking. Occasionally I even go paddle boarding. Maybe a Lidl cheapo aisle aquatic top is labelled for what its intended purpose is.