To the Odeon! …on Monday afternoon for another in the latest series of cheapo cheapo grubby fiver screenings over in Sunny Colch. Filling up my afternoon of leisure was Mandalorian and Grogu. This has to be the crappiest name of any film, not only in the ever-expanding Star Wars franchise, but also in recent cinematic history.
Talk about Tell It Like It Is.
I should by now know what to expect with the cheapo cheapo screenings. I’m no cinema snob but, you aren’t exactly mixing it with a high-end Barbican crowd. Christ, I am a cinema snob.
For the second consecutive screening I had to turn around only a couple of minutes into the film and deliver a bit of a shhh moment as I put my finger to my lips and asked a couple behind me to stop bloody banging on.
Christ. What the fuck is wrong with people? Once again they were happy to yap away all over the trailers. I had no real issue with this as the trailers were mainly Minions shite anyway.
The mundane conversation that wasn’t even in the remotest related to the film continued as the plot was being set up for The Mandalorian. I’ll continue to shhh selfish fuckers up if they continue to spoil my £5 afternoon of enjoyment.
But anyway. The film. Blimey. It was absolute bobbins. Those days of eagerly anticipating a new film in the franchise are long gone. The Star Wars franchise is nothing but a money-making exercise for Disney, and a very profitable one at that.
Not a lot happens in the film. Not a lot actually happens in The Mandalorian telly series, but you could pass a pleasant 40 minutes or so, transported into the Star Wars universe whilst watching at home.
Transport this to a full-on cinema experience with some selfish arseholes sitting behind you, and that £5 suddenly didn’t feel like money well spent.
I won’t bore you with the plot. It’s out there to explore online. There isn’t much of a plot to be honest. I knew that I had lost my love for the Star Wars franchise when one of the major scene stealers involves Jabba the Hutt’s son wrestling with his uncle and aunt.
I dozed off midway through the film and wished I hadn’t awoken. It was very loud, which makes my slumber all the more perplexing. I’m amazed that I slept through those two selfish arseholes talking absolute crap throughout.
May the Voice be with you.
Dickheads.