Crap Match Report: Surrey Vs Hampshire, Hampshire win by 5 runs

Sunshine down at the Oval for Friday evening. Make hay, etc.

The arrival of Hampshire in SE11 looked like being a lively contest for Surrey as they continued with their stop / start campaign in the T20 Blast this summer.

Surrey had themed the game as an LGBQT+ occasion. GOOD. We need to fight back against the pricks. Cricket shouldn’t be part of the culture wars. In fact, nothing should be part of the culture wars. We should be proud of who we are. Shout out to the official Surrey drag queen looking resplendent whilst on the piss in the Peter May.

The Surrey YouTube channel was superb as ever. The commentary may be a little hit and miss, but the production and TV angles are on par with anything Sky can deliver.

I was a little pissed off, however, to see them plugging a June Test match at the Oval. This is just completely wrong. The Oval Test should always be played around the second week in September. It puts your whole season out of sync. It’s like holding the FA Cup final in November and the Charity Shield in April. Cricket is bonkers.

t was good to see CJ back bowling for Surrey. This is his 20th year as a pro. The Dulwich DUDE may have lost a little pace in recent years, but he still has plenty of energy left in the tank.

Hampshire had a strong attack as they took to the crease. The onslaught was relentless. A fantastic final over from Fuller gave Surrey a tough ask of 215.

Cometh the hour, cometh the man. Oh dear, J-Roy.

Up stepped Ollie Pope for some showboating. He never really got going after one wild swing.

We needed a skipper’s knock from young Sam as he stepped up to the crease. No, that’s not gonna happen, is it?

It looked like Will Jacks would be on his Jack Jones as being the final hope for Surrey to try and get this over the line. We were helped out with a nightmare over from Lumsden, who went for 24. Thanks for coming, etc.

Desperate Dan Lawrence was our last stand. He’s not the most elegant batsman to watch, but he knows how to put on scoreboard pressure.

The final over was a little frantic. Surrey just fell short with the final ball in what was a great game of cricket.

This all leaves us in serious danger of not progressing to the next stage of The Blast. Oh well, there’s always the Metro Bank to look forward to.

Yeah, right.