Monday was BENCH MOVING day down at the allotment. Or to be more precise, how the chuff do we get a bench that doubles up as tool storage from the house over to the allotment? Simple. Carry it. YEAH?
Tool storage has been something of an issue. We’ve inherited a plot with no shed. I’m no shed fan, tbh. They’re don’t age well with the Estuary Wilds wind and rain. They also look a little Old Man Allotment. Which I am certainly not, bro. And so instead we settled on the bench that doubles up with tool storage underneath. Job’s a good ‘un, etc.
This was delivered to our home via Mr Amazon. We built it back at base, and then thought, ARSE - we need to get this thing over to the allotment, with no car. We’re sustainable, if not blessed in the brains department.
It was actually quite lightweight. We chose a strategic time when there would be the fewest number of folk walking around the town. The house to allotment distance is just over 1km - a ten minute walk. What could go wrong?
It was bloody cold for a start. We looked like a right couple of dicks, carrying a bench along the mean streets of CO7. One car even slowed down, with the driver staring at us, rubber necking. I half expected the phone to come out, and then a pic appearing on the local FB group later in the day.
YES, THAT’S RIGHT, Madam. I’M CARRYING A FUCKING BENCH. What the chuff has it got do with you? Concentrate on your driving.
We rocked up at the allotment. We were immediately met by the Bench Inspector.
“What is that made of?”
Erm, recyclable materials. I think.
We just about got away with that one.
Positioning then took place. Two options were available: in front of another fella’s greenhouse, or on the small patch of land that currently has shingles on it. This is dead space in terms of growing, and so it emerged the winner.
I took a seat, looked around my patch, and then told A to get on with some weeding.
